Recently, everyone and their dog watched the movie “Past Lives” and a bunch of my clients asked me my thoughts on it considering what I do for a living. So, what’s a bitch with time on her hands gonna do? Me watchy watchy.
While the premise was promising, truth is I’ve seen better – but that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about Psyche, Eros, and The Red Thread of Fate that Binds Us.
Inyeon
In Past Lives, there is this Korean concept called “Inyeon“. Here is a direct quote from the movie so I don’t butcher it:
“There is a word in Korean – inyeon. It means providence or fate. But it’s specifically about relationships between people. It’s an inyeon if two strangers even walk past each other in the street and their clothes accidentally brush, because it means there must have been something between them in their past lives. If two people get married, they say it’s because there have been 8,000 layers of inyeon over 8,000 lifetimes.”
Although the Korean version is new to me, I have been well acquainted with soulmates, twin flames and the battle between will & fate, for a very, very long time.
I, Quixote & my Windmills
When I was 12 years old, I met a boy who I thought I was supposed to marry. LOL, please indulge me in this story. I beg of you.
So there I was, 12 year old me with pimples, a stick like figure and a very round, fat face. I was insecure and shy, and across the dining table from me (in his pajamas) was this tall, really handsome guy with light brown curly hair, who nonchalantly was asking me if I wanted to eat breakfast when deep down inside I was wondering why the hell we weren’t on our way to school yet.
Don’t get any ideas. It was a carpool situation. Carpool. Our car broke down and my brother asked his friend if we could hitch with him as we were neighbours.
note: in Manila kids went to different schools in different cities, and we weren’t bound to one school just because it was in the neighbourhood
To cut this VERY LONG 20+ YEAR STORY SHORT (i kid you not) we did NOT get married, and we AREN’T supposed to get married. But, I wasn’t completely wrong either. Let me explain. Let’s go back to 12 year old me.
While he was attractive, it was the visceral pull that haunted me for decades. From the moment I first laid eyes on him, I was arrested. There was a feeling that was just inexplicable: He wasn’t my type, and yet, there I was. Beholden.
Over the years we had a very casual relationship – to him I was the sister of his friend, and he was the gorgeous and unattainable friend of my brother. But there was something unsaid there. Despite the fact that he dated the entire Philippine population, not once did we have anything between us. And yet, everybody noticed that he treated me differently.
It was the small gestures. Whenever I wanted to talk to him, he stopped whatever he was doing and engaged me. Whenever I was seated down somewhere, he was down on one knee looking up at me as if he were a knight and I a queen. There was a time I complained about something he was in charge of, and he immediately took care of it without consideration for the other party. Even when he was verbally aggressive with others (heck, he made teachers cry), he was always gentle and sweet with me.
Of course, there were the secret phone calls and something else to do with his father – but I won’t get into that.
So. It felt familiar. It felt right. But for some reason, despite it being the right time and place, we never were. And maybe for good reason.
In my late 20s, I wondered about him, and being the impulsive person that I am, I reached out on Facebook. But the sweet boy I remembered in my head was gone. This version of him was rude, insulting and cold. In fact, that may have been the real him all along. But I was glad I reached out anyway as I was able to quell any “what ifs” lingering in my head.
Years later as I got into my spiritual journey I began to understand the WHY of us.
Once, I was in the middle of a group meditation when I saw a past life we shared. Without going into detail, tears started rolling down my face as it finally hit me who we were, where we came from, and how things turned out in this present form.
At 12 years old I thought I was supposed to marry this man. But what I realized in my 30s was that I was just remembering what it was like being married to him. It was beautiful, but it wasn’t our story this time around.
And with my heart no longer in yearning, I closed that chapter of my life – his impact forever etched in my soul.
Karmic Relationships 101
Before I go on further, let’s learn a few basics: What is the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame? I’ll make this short.
A soulmate is a karmic connection. We have MANY soulmates. Soulmates are people we’ve been connected to in previous lifetimes with whom we still have unfinished business. We are here to be in each others’ lives, trigger each other, learn from each other, and depending on what you want to do, you can either move on or enjoy being together.
Soulmates don’t have to be romantic. They can be those soul crushing friendships and relationships that are simply there to kick your ass. Maybe you owe them money from a previous lifetime. Perhaps you stole their donkey and they want it back. Or maybe it’s the other way around and they actually owe you an apology – centuries too late.
In any case, we come together this time around as an opportunity to do the things we were supposed to do eons ago and free ourselves from the karmic obligations that have kept us bound and trapped.
Now. A Twin Flame is different.
I want to be careful not to romanticize this because to be honest, this can be toxic, especially when we commonly see this term being thrown around and used as reason couples continue to engage in vicious cycles that are damaging mentally, emotionally and in many cases, physically.
The most common idea is that twin flames are souls that were split into two. Your life journey then is to find your “other half” and live happily ever after in a picket fence house. Sounds idyllic and all, but I don’t subscribe to that.
Instead, I believe that Twin Flames are people you are somehow bound to no matter what – for good or bad, physical or not – and it’s an everlasting type of karmic bond. You have to go through the obstacle course, complete with rings of fire and lions, and apply yourself after.
I find this similar to the mythology of Psyche and Eros, which I will get to soon enough. Be patient, my sweets. Be patient.
Twin Flames commonly meet each other but can never seem to get it together. They love, they fight, they make up, they fight again – hence, the toxic vibrations.
But I don’t think all Twin Flame relationships are malignant – however that highly depends on the people involved and how they handle the necessary drama. But who are we kidding? We are human and it is in our wiring to be dramatic beasts.
Let’s move on.
Psyche & Eros
For centuries, the myth of Psyche and Eros has captivated humans so deeply that they have been immortalized in countless sculptures, paintings and engravings all around the world.
But there are many love stories, so why are we so enraptured by this one?
I’m an astrologer who loves to use objects other than the traditional 7 planets in my chart readings, and over the years, I have played with different asteroids and fixed stars. But I have come to the conclusion that more ain’t always merrier. And as I have narrowed down my list of asteroids to use, Psyche and Eros have remained a constant.
So let’s get into it. Who were Psyche and Eros anyway, and why are they important?
The Myth
Here’s the super shortcut version of their myth cuz you know, I’m not a historian. Ahem.
One day the prettiest mortal ever, Psyche annoys the shit out of the prettiest goddess ever, Aprhodite (Venus).
So Aphrodite has her son, Eros (Cupid – in sexy man form, not baby form) make Psyche fall in love with some decrepit creature as revenge for mortal men flocking to see Psyche’s beauty while Aprhodite’s temples are now abandoned.
Alas, fate is funny ‘cuz guess what? Psyche is the shit y’all. She’s gorgeous as fuck, and Eros is all mesmerized and falls in love with her instead. Yay!
Blah blah blah, worried parents, jealous sisters, prophecies, Psyche sent to marry a beast in her funeral clothes, blah blah blah…
Psyche is visited nightly by her husband – who she doesn’t see – but ends up falling in love with him anyway. Who is this mysterious husband that she makes passionate love to every night in the dark? Duh. Eros.
More blah blah blah. He makes her promise never to ask about his true identity, her sisters rot her brain and make her go back on her promise, Eros mad as hell abandons his wife cuz she betrayed his trust blah blah blah, Psyche laments her lost husband blah blah…
ANYWAY. This is the important part: Psyche then goes to Aphrodite in repentance, and her mother-in-law who is really bitchy in this story, makes Psyche work for it. Hence, the 4 insurmountable tasks she has to go through in order to win back the love of Eros.
Does she get her tasks done? Sure. But through the help of other beings who took pity on her as she was practically on the verge of killing herself over and over. In fact, her last task of going to the Underworld to bring Persephone’s beauty in a box basically killed her (hey, i’m giving the shortcut version here), so you know. It was tough, man. It was tough.
So going back. Psyche and Eros placements in a natal chart tell me a lot about our psyche, relationship dynamics, what we’re attracted to and the trials we go through. And in a few rare cases, they show me epic love stories. Love stories that span decades. Love stories as tumultuous as they are poetic. Love stories that stand trial over and over, but somehow find the grounding to get back on their feet.
Love stories bound by the eternal thread of fate, no matter the conclusion.
The Red Thread of Fate
There is a Chinese folklore about the red thread of fate. It depends on the source but some people say that Twin Flames are connected by a red thread tied around their fingers…others say ankles…but in my experience, I saw a thick red rope tied to my umbilical cord. Honestly, it doesn’t matter as it’s all perspective anyway.
As I mentioned, not all Twin Flame relationships need to culminate in the sacrament of marriage (or any equivalent) in this timeline. The goal isn’t physical union – I know, shocking. Instead, we’re here to show up, go through the trials, and finally put an end to lifetimes of accumulated karma.
There will always be a runner and a chaser, so take heed.
Not everyone meets a twin flame. Not everyone needs to. But for those who get to, it’ll be interesting to get it.
It
So yes, I have met a few of my soulmates. Despite no longer being entwined, I have fond memories.
When I was 38 years old, I had a brief flirtation with a 24 year old Swede. He was one of those rare gold nuggets that you meet in this big wide Universe, and despite the obvious age gap, we acted like we had known each other forever. By the first week, we had inside jokes and spent hours talking about anything and everything – including where and how to meet each other halfway, and how to propagate houseplants to their fullest potential. How domesticated of us.
We even shared an extremely odd & traumatic childhood nightmare that was so eerily similar – down to the smallest detail – that you couldn’t help but wonder if we had died together in a previous lifetime.
But alas fate would have a word with us both, and we didn’t make it past one month. I wish him all the best knowing our story was brief and meant to be that way. We said our goodbyes and I never looked back.
My complicated relationship with my mother and countless female friends, are soulmate connections too. As difficult as they were to navigate, it was important for me to adhere to the processes and let myself grieve what had been lost. But as every butterfly that emerges from its cocoon, I wouldn’t have skipped any of the dark nights of the soul I had to undertake in order for me to transfigure and evolve.
And then there’s that one that you just can’t seem to shake off. That once in a lifetime volcanic rock that just sits there. No matter what you do, they’re there. You can feel the red rope doing things. You can feel the tug and the push…no matter how painful, no matter how illogical. It’s like a telephone cord with the occasional heartbeats on the other end of the line, even when they claim to be done with you.
Psyche & Eros
For centuries, the myth of Psyche and Eros has captivated humans so deeply that they have been immortalized in countless sculptures, paintings and engravings all around the world.
But there are many love stories, so why are we so enraptured by this one?
I’m an astrologer who loves to use objects other than the traditional 7 planets in my chart readings, and over the years, I have played with different asteroids and fixed stars. But I have come to the conclusion that more ain’t always merrier. And as I have narrowed down my list of asteroids to use, Psyche and Eros have remained a constant.
So let’s get into it. Who were Psyche and Eros anyway, and why are they important?
The Myth
Here’s the super shortcut version of their myth cuz you know, I’m not a historian. Ahem.
One day the prettiest mortal ever, Psyche annoys the shit out of the prettiest goddess ever, Aprhodite (Venus).
So Aphrodite has her son, Eros (Cupid – in sexy man form, not baby form) make Psyche fall in love with some decrepit creature as revenge for mortal men flocking to see Psyche’s beauty while Aprhodite’s temples are now abandoned.
Alas, fate is funny ‘cuz guess what? Psyche is the shit y’all. She’s gorgeous as fuck, and Eros is all mesmerized and falls in love with her instead. Yay!
Blah blah blah, worried parents, jealous sisters, prophecies, Psyche sent to marry a beast in her funeral clothes, blah blah blah…
Psyche is visited nightly by her husband – who she doesn’t see – but ends up falling in love with him anyway. Who is this mysterious husband that she makes passionate love to every night in the dark? Duh. Eros.
More blah blah blah. He makes her promise never to ask about his true identity, her sisters rot her brain and make her go back on her promise, Eros mad as hell abandons his wife cuz she betrayed his trust blah blah blah, Psyche laments her lost husband blah blah…
ANYWAY. This is the important part: Psyche then goes to Aphrodite in repentance, and her mother-in-law who is really bitchy in this story, makes Psyche work for it. Hence, the 4 insurmountable tasks she has to go through in order to win back the love of Eros.
Does she get her tasks done? Sure. But through the help of other beings who took pity on her as she was practically on the verge of killing herself over and over. In fact, her last task of going to the Underworld to bring Persephone’s beauty in a box basically killed her (hey, i’m giving the shortcut version here), so you know. It was tough, man. It was tough.
So going back. Psyche and Eros placements in a natal chart tell me a lot about our psyche, relationship dynamics, what we’re attracted to and the trials we go through. And in a few rare cases, they show me epic love stories. Love stories that span decades. Love stories as tumultuous as they are poetic. Love stories that stand trial over and over, but somehow find the grounding to get back on their feet.
Love stories bound by the eternal thread of fate, no matter the conclusion.
The Red Thread of Fate
There is a Chinese folklore about the red thread of fate. It depends on the source but some people say that Twin Flames are connected by a red thread tied around their fingers…others say ankles…but in my experience, I saw a thick red rope tied to my umbilical cord. Honestly, it doesn’t matter as it’s all perspective anyway.
As I mentioned, not all Twin Flame relationships need to culminate in the sacrament of marriage (or any equivalent) in this timeline. The goal isn’t physical union – I know, shocking. Instead, we’re here to show up, go through the trials, and finally put an end to lifetimes of accumulated karma.
There will always be a runner and a chaser, so take heed.
Not everyone meets a twin flame. Not everyone needs to. But for those who get to, it’ll be interesting to get it.
It
So yes, I have met a few of my soulmates. Despite no longer being entwined, I have fond memories.
When I was 38 years old, I had a brief flirtation with a 24 year old Swede. He was one of those rare gold nuggets that you meet in this big wide Universe, and despite the obvious age gap, we acted like we had known each other forever. By the first week, we had inside jokes and spent hours talking about anything and everything – including where and how to meet each other halfway, and how to propagate houseplants to their fullest potential. How domesticated of us.
We even shared an extremely odd & traumatic childhood nightmare that was so eerily similar – down to the smallest detail – that you couldn’t help but wonder if we had died together in a previous lifetime.
But alas fate would have a word with us both, and we didn’t make it past one month. I wish him all the best knowing our story was brief and meant to be that way. We said our goodbyes and I never looked back.
My complicated relationship with my mother and countless female friends, are soulmate connections too. As difficult as they were to navigate, it was important for me to adhere to the processes and let myself grieve what had been lost. But as every butterfly that emerges from its cocoon, I wouldn’t have skipped any of the dark nights of the soul I had to undertake in order for me to transfigure and evolve.
And then there’s that one that you just can’t seem to shake off. That once in a lifetime volcanic rock that just sits there. No matter what you do, they’re there. You can feel the red rope doing things. You can feel the tug and the push…no matter how painful, no matter how illogical. It’s like a telephone cord with the occasional heartbeats on the other end of the line, even when they claim to be done with you.
Psyche & Eros
For centuries, the myth of Psyche and Eros has captivated humans so deeply that they have been immortalized in countless sculptures, paintings and engravings all around the world.
But there are many love stories, so why are we so enraptured by this one?
I’m an astrologer who loves to use objects other than the traditional 7 planets in my chart readings, and over the years, I have played with different asteroids and fixed stars. But I have come to the conclusion that more ain’t always merrier. And as I have narrowed down my list of asteroids to use, Psyche and Eros have remained a constant.
So let’s get into it. Who were Psyche and Eros anyway, and why are they important?
The Myth
Here’s the super shortcut version of their myth cuz you know, I’m not a historian. Ahem.
One day the prettiest mortal ever, Psyche annoys the shit out of the prettiest goddess ever, Aprhodite (Venus).
So Aphrodite has her son, Eros (Cupid – in sexy man form, not baby form) make Psyche fall in love with some decrepit creature as revenge for mortal men flocking to see Psyche’s beauty while Aprhodite’s temples are now abandoned.
Alas, fate is funny ‘cuz guess what? Psyche is the shit y’all. She’s gorgeous as fuck, and Eros is all mesmerized and falls in love with her instead. Yay!
Blah blah blah, worried parents, jealous sisters, prophecies, Psyche sent to marry a beast in her funeral clothes, blah blah blah…
Psyche is visited nightly by her husband – who she doesn’t see – but ends up falling in love with him anyway. Who is this mysterious husband that she makes passionate love to every night in the dark? Duh. Eros.
More blah blah blah. He makes her promise never to ask about his true identity, her sisters rot her brain and make her go back on her promise, Eros mad as hell abandons his wife cuz she betrayed his trust blah blah blah, Psyche laments her lost husband blah blah…
ANYWAY. This is the important part: Psyche then goes to Aphrodite in repentance, and her mother-in-law who is really bitchy in this story, makes Psyche work for it. Hence, the 4 insurmountable tasks she has to go through in order to win back the love of Eros.
Does she get her tasks done? Sure. But through the help of other beings who took pity on her as she was practically on the verge of killing herself over and over. In fact, her last task of going to the Underworld to bring Persephone’s beauty in a box basically killed her (hey, i’m giving the shortcut version here), so you know. It was tough, man. It was tough.
So going back. Psyche and Eros placements in a natal chart tell me a lot about our psyche, relationship dynamics, what we’re attracted to and the trials we go through. And in a few rare cases, they show me epic love stories. Love stories that span decades. Love stories as tumultuous as they are poetic. Love stories that stand trial over and over, but somehow find the grounding to get back on their feet.
Love stories bound by the eternal thread of fate, no matter the conclusion.
The Red Thread of Fate
There is a Chinese folklore about the red thread of fate. It depends on the source but some people say that Twin Flames are connected by a red thread tied around their fingers…others say ankles…but in my experience, I saw a thick red rope tied to my umbilical cord. Honestly, it doesn’t matter as it’s all perspective anyway.
As I mentioned, not all Twin Flame relationships need to culminate in the sacrament of marriage (or any equivalent) in this timeline. The goal isn’t physical union – I know, shocking. Instead, we’re here to show up, go through the trials, and finally put an end to lifetimes of accumulated karma.
There will always be a runner and a chaser, so take heed.
Not everyone meets a twin flame. Not everyone needs to. But for those who get to, it’ll be interesting to get it.
It
So yes, I have met a few of my soulmates. Despite no longer being entwined, I have fond memories.
When I was 38 years old, I had a brief flirtation with a 24 year old Swede. He was one of those rare gold nuggets that you meet in this big wide Universe, and despite the obvious age gap, we acted like we had known each other forever. By the first week, we had inside jokes and spent hours talking about anything and everything – including where and how to meet each other halfway, and how to propagate houseplants to their fullest potential. How domesticated of us.
We even shared an extremely odd & traumatic childhood nightmare that was so eerily similar – down to the smallest detail – that you couldn’t help but wonder if we had died together in a previous lifetime.
But alas fate would have a word with us both, and we didn’t make it past one month. I wish him all the best knowing our story was brief and meant to be that way. We said our goodbyes and I never looked back.
My complicated relationship with my mother and countless female friends, are soulmate connections too. As difficult as they were to navigate, it was important for me to adhere to the processes and let myself grieve what had been lost. But as every butterfly that emerges from its cocoon, I wouldn’t have skipped any of the dark nights of the soul I had to undertake in order for me to transfigure and evolve.
And then there’s that one that you just can’t seem to shake off. That once in a lifetime volcanic rock that just sits there. No matter what you do, they’re there. You can feel the red rope doing things. You can feel the tug and the push…no matter how painful, no matter how illogical. It’s like a telephone cord with the occasional heartbeats on the other end of the line, even when they claim to be done with you.
In the movie Past Lives…wait…if you want to watch the movie stop here. Just stop. Stop now!
(waiting for some of you to leave)
Okay. So in the movie Past Lives, they don’t end up together but I was totally fine with that as I wasn’t convinced they were really meant to be anyway. I much prefer Before Sunset or Last Night, where the ghost of the past was so much more alchemical and believable, making the entire movie watching experience absolute torture.
In Conclusion
Ok, so what now?
As a healer, I tell my clients to be wise. For the most part, while some things are fated to happen, we will always have a choice. Although we may feel bound to a partner for karmic reasons, we will always be responsible for how we act.
Meeting your twin flame is not an excuse to embark on a torrid love affair that lasts for years. Meeting your twin flame is not an excuse to continue hurting others, and yourself.
Others choose their most compatible life partner instead of a twin flame, and that is a perfectly wonderful choice to make. Whatever you decide, make the most out of it.
And what about Psyche and Eros? How does their story end?
After her harrowing ordeal, Psyche does get to live happily ever after with her beloved. In a shocking twist, Zeus keeps it in his pants and grants Psyche immortality while Aphrodite finally backs off being “Mother-in-Law of the Year” and accepts her son’s marriage.
So I’m gonna leave you all with this: CHERISH EVERYTHING. Every moment, every passerby, every heartbreak, every beginning. Cherish the good times and the bad. Cherish the wows and the aughs. Cherish the one before you, standing beside you, cherish the past, the future. Cherish the ghosts that hold the red rope. And cherish that weird tugging feeling that you don’t understand.
off to wreak havoc,
brit
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