And how I’m gonna alchemize the shit out of it. So fret not my sweets. Fret not.
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Who is Pallas Athene? Shorcut version of the story is Sky Daddy #3 Zeus decided to, you know, “make advances” toward some hot OG Goddess of Wisdom and she became preggo. But a prophecy or something said that their second born would usurp him so he uh…ate his wife. (Side eye emoji) Cuz you know, when you got a problem with a future son taking your power, you EAT THEIR MOTHER. (God I can make so many jokes) But anyway! So problem solved right? No not really cuz Zeus now has a splitting headache so I dunno, did he decide to split his head open with an axe or something? But out sprang Pallas Athene, a full fledged ADULT complete with a breast plate and spear cuz that’s how she rolls into existence.
So who is Pallas? Pallas is Zeus’ favorite daughter, the Goddess of Wisdom, Arts & Crafts, Manifestation, Healing, Justice, Activism yada yada yada and she’s a freaking warrior OK? I mean, she spars for fun and she always beats Mars’ ass.
So why am I talking about her? Cuz I have a very dynamic stellium in my 11th house of Libra, and Pallas is at the forefront (why wouldn’t she be? She’s not chicken shit) with Saturn, Pluto, Eros, Prey and Mars all following behind.
Like seriously. This is the most Pallas Athene thing ever. She is literally roommates with a bunch of rowdy egotistical asses showing off their machoness while both fighting for respect AND being comfortable in a boys club.
Although it’s a far reach, she’s still nearish *MC in the 10th house. She probably looked at the boys in the **11th house and looked back at MC and said “Yo. I think I’m needed more in the 11th. Those guys need an ass whooping and Ruler Venus might just give up. You’ll be all right yeah?” to which MC responds “Yeah totally, go teach em a lesson Pallas. Kick them right in the ballsack.”
Yes. That’s totally what happened.
*MC – the midheaven, associated to our careers and what we are known for.
**11th House – the house associated to friends, alliances, fan club, cult following (teehee also I’m not kidding)
***For those of you who know astrology, don’t you find it hilarious that Pallas is right at home in Libra, while Mars is in detriment???
***I follow the Hellenistic technique, so sign based aspects are taken into consideration, not just orbs.
As a teenager, I was slightly tomboyish. I was into basketball and had a permanent scowl on my face. I was tough and slightly scary, and it didn’t help that I was “white” and spoke English. (Remember y’all, I live in Manila)
Guys half bullied half veered away from me, and girls confronted me if they thought I was being openly mean to them. It was weird because half the time I didn’t know I had enemies. People had to TELL me.
All my life, I’ve had weird platonic relationships with both sexes.
I have a pattern of having strong – but contentious at times – friendships with women (straight or not) which fades away eventually (for various reasons). I also have a pattern of having very loving and supportive friendships with men (straight or not), but they mostly wouldn’t last either. Something always comes in between, be it a fight, a woman, or sex.
Men always found it easy talking to me, and judging from my natal chart, it looks like it is because of Pallas Athene’s influence. I was (am? I dunno) the androgynous chick who loves talking about sex, but you know what, I’M SMART TOO. I actually have something to say. But the problem with that is that while it is easy to attract men once they get to know me (I’m like an acquired taste) I’m also not treated the way they treat other women.
When I was a teenager, one of my super-rare-friends-for-life-no-matter what, Tonylou, told me this in an annoying, condescending verbal scrawl (aka, a drawl): “You know Shelly. You’re gonna have a difficult time finding a boyfriend with your attitude. Men find you intimidating. Your first boyfriend will be when you’re 21.”
14yo Me: “Fuck you, Tonylou. Fuck you!”
He ended up being right. I WAS intimidating and I DID have my first relationships (not a typo) at 21. Fucker.
I always found intelligence sexy. And when I say intelligence, I don’t mean book smart.
And I always preferred when men took their time before declaring they wanted to rip my clothes off. Whenever a man initiates conversation by telling me how hot I am, I will almost always immediately get turned off.
It’s not because I am shy or I don’t believe it. It’s because I seriously don’t want to know that now. Tell me LATER. Tell me I’m sexy after we’ve spent some weeks getting to know each other and talking about real shit. Tell me after we both uncover the person behind the dating mask and unveil our vulnerabilities.
People wonder why I’m single and this is one of the plethora of reasons. I don’t fall for the guys who love my body at first sight. I fall for the guys who think my brain is godsend and find me funny. I don’t fall for the guys with cheesy pick up lines who drive fast cars. I fall for the guys who take the time to really get to know me and call me out on my shit when they see it.
My job doesn’t help. I have zero access to these types of men. Plus I have 3 cats?
Pallas Athene is associated to Wisdom and Strength, and people with strong Pallas placements in their charts can sometimes exchange relationships for knowledge and success instead. A lot of heavy Pallas placements are tight with their fathers, and aren’t as great with their mothers. Remember, it all still depends on your entire chart.
In my natal chart, Pallas in Libra squares (red line) Venus in Cancer. Think of a “square” like squaring off. Someone passing you by in the school hallway and deliberately shoving your shoulder cuz they got beef with you.
It’s almost as if Pallas is scoffing at Venus’ loving nature. Like Pallas thinks lowly of Venus for wanting a relationship. Pallas reminding Venus that we don’t need a man cuz we are the man.
And as much as I love that Cher clip, women power and everything (everything Pallas stands for), I also can’t help but feel I’m over it. Growing up, I witnessed my mother become Superwoman. She had to handle 4 kids, figure out how to feed us, clothe us, educate us, dodge a million bullets and keep the facade of happy while our dad made us walk on eggshells cuz who knows what mood he’ll be in on a certain day.
The Pallas Athene in my chart took it upon herself to use this experience and arm herself, unknowingly becoming the eternal martyr, sacrificing any chance of a happy relationship for knowledge and strength instead.
Well you know what? I’m done being strong. I think I’ve been done for a while now and I can thank Venus being in a superior square to Pallas for that (i.e. she’s stronger). And I’m not looking for equality either. Is that shocking? Is that un-feminist? I was on survival mode for so long and now I just wanna learn something new.
I want to know what safety feels like. What peace feels like. I want to know what being able to truly rely on someone means. I want to know what a friendship and relationship is without thinking of the expiry date. I want to be able to vent out without being therapized, and that is something I am learning too. Allowing people to express themselves without analyzing their every move. I want to be able to love without restrictions. And I want to be loved the same way. I want to meet people with similar values, who know how to treasure things despite the madness of this world.
Healing is a lonely journey, but I’m keeping the faith.
her armour down,
brit
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