When I was a kid, I dreamt of being an actress. I mean…who didn’t? But I honestly thought I was “fated” to be one. That it would only be a matter of time for it to happen because it was written in the stars.
Acting turned to writing turned to music…but boundary after boundary presented themselves before me. It’s not like I didn’t try. I did. But it was as if the Universe had other plans. I felt stuck. Like it was me against the world. So as a means of coping in my 20s, I just swept all those dreams under a rug. I pretended I was fine, and I thrived for many years. I really did.
Then in my early thirties, I stumbled upon healing and before I knew it, I was in the thick of it. I went from client to student to practitioner in a matter of a few short years. It all seemed to just happen without much effort. Almost like it was…fated.
But I never wanted to be a healer. I wanted to be an actress! (throws a mini tantrum) How did this happen? Why is it that when we want something so badly, it just doesn’t materialize as easily…but for other things it just flows?
What is fate, what is fortune, and what do we have control over? Are we just puppets of God? Are we here to learn and make something out of the hand we were given in life or are we here to concoct magical solutions out of a cauldron?
As a Tarot Reader, I am fully aware of how things differ depending on the client. I have seen cards “change” and other times — no matter how many times we ask the same question — the cards remain the same.
I’ve had my fair share of stories where clients would message me months—and even YEARS later—telling me that whatever I mentioned during a reading DID happen. Some were good news, others…not so good.
One story that sticks with me is how I “predicted” the outcome of a client’s future marriage. Many of us go to healers/readers not to learn anything new, but to have our wishes verified. She wanted me to tell her that her union was going to be awesome. However, I did not do that for her that day. In fact, I let her down. Without sugarcoating anything, I told her what I saw. But just as so many of my clients have done before her (I too as I have the same story) she ignored the advice and went ahead with her plans.
I didn’t stop her. That’s how we humans learn.
And learn she did. I received an email almost 5 years later, validating everything I had said.
Of course, not everything I initially say is also true. I have a very different story with a different client.
I remember the very first reading I had with her because she cried after the cards let her know that her relationship was toxic and wasn’t going anywhere. But as the years went on, the cards started changing. Despite the troubles, she remained by his side. She worked on herself as he worked on himself, and they did it in their own way, together. Just a few months ago, this client messaged me with an update that they had gotten married and are now starting a new life in another country! I was so happy for her! You see, our sessions weren’t based on her attaining him. Our sessions were about her gaining her self worth, working on what she could control, and eventually everything fell into place.
So again. What is fated and what is in our hands?
As an astrology student, I have been staring at my natal chart for 10 months straight now and if you take a look at it…it’s actually a pretty great chart! Some delineations are blatant, and others are still vague (maybe they haven’t happened yet).
To give you an example, one year ago I wouldn’t have thought I’d be taking astrology seriously. In fact, I didn’t think I’d get into astrology at all. But if you look at my chart (for astrologers out there, I have my 10th house planetary ruler Mercury (conjunct Sun) in the 9th house. Uranus is also in my first house of Sag. Master of Nativity is Mercury. Urania and Chiron are conjunct in my 6th, trining Psyche and MC in my 10th.) It’s so blatant. But if I had my chart read one year ago and you told me I’d be a budding astrologer, I would have laughed and accused you of being high. And yet, here we are today.
Even as our planets move houses/signs in progressed charts…my Mercury remains in the 9th.
Then there are other factors. Of course, one aspect of astrology is the ability to “see into the future”. And so here I am. Looking at future transits, progressed charts…yada yada. January 2024. I’m seeing things. Then 2025. 2026. I’m looking into my 50s (I’m 41 now). And there are some things that I’m seeing.
So I’m at this crux. Will these things happen because I’m gonna MAKE THEM happen? Or can I relax, continue to show up for life, and have these things magically roll unto my lap as fated?
It seems that being a healer/reader/astrologer/ultra fabulous human being is really part of my life mission — but would it have found its way to me ANY HOW even if I didn’t take the initial bait from Universe when it first presented itself to me?
What about acting and writing? They were my first love, where do they fit into my life story? Acting is something I have no need nor desire for anymore at this point, so that’s fine.
But writing is still very much a part of my story — again — Mercury, isn’t just about astrology. It’s writing too. There’s still something brewing there. I just don’t know what when where how or why, but it’s still a part of my story. I guess I’ll just have to wait for Divine Timing.
And I guess I’ll just keep doing things the way I have always done: Show up and ride that wave of life. Let’s see how much is fated…and how much I willed to happen.
Wow, a short concise blog post. Good for me.
ja,
brit
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